After getting married, there is the expected period of adjustment. Things change (or don't) in ways both expected and unforeseen. Getting used to hearing yourself say "husband" and "wife". Learning about what it's like to have in-laws.
Coming home to a steak on the table every night.
Of the many curious and wondrous metamorphoses of marriage, one that has me, a newlywed gentleman, the most vexed is this: when do I take off my ring, specifically when cooking? It's been years since I've regularly worn rings (or any jewelry, for that matter) and having this ubiquitous piece of equipment hanging on one of my favorite kitchen tools (Ol' Lefty) makes for some awkward moments.
A quick Googling of "take off ring to cook" returns, in order, an article on American Idol star Kristy Lee Cook showing off her engagement ring, an page about a ring of a different nature (similar to "cook"), and finally an article
directly addressing my question. Its terms are blunt: Remove At All Times. The author even handily enumerates the various gruesome ends to which you might come were you to leave your rings on while cooking. Exploded in the microwave. Caught in the inexorable death gears of the electric can opener. Electrocuted. Stabbed. Drowned in a bucket. Eaten by bears. Okay, so I made some of those up (try and guess which ones--I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised), but the advice is noted.
Turning to my televised role models for advice, I learned the following: Alton Brown wears his ring all the time, though he dons gloves when handling raw meat; Rachael Ray wears her rings all the time, even when squelching meatloaf mix through her vapid little fingers; Paula Deen keeps 'em on; I couldn't say about Tyler Florence--he's so damn dreamy it's hard to concentrate.
I have determined there are two instances when removing the ring is recommended: when kneading anything (bread dough, meat, meat bread dough*), and when washing anything. These activities are high risk for contamination and general gunking-up. Though, of course, wearing gloves for those things is a perfectly lovely idea as well. And so, heeding my own advice, I took off my ring just now when washing the dishes. I left it right over... um...
Hey honey, have you seen my ring?
*More on this later